When reprimanding your subordinates for their faults, carefully restrain yourself from anger, irritation, and disturbance, and be gentle, full of love, dignified and quiet. If the subordinate you have to correct takes offence, gently observe to him that you have no intention of offending and irritating him, that you sincerely wish him well, and that he should be orderly in his work, and that it is not him that you are annoyed with, but the disorder that he occasions. Do not offend his pride and dignity by exalting yourself in his eyes and lowering him. If you have this weakness (pride) yourself, better leave the correction of another and first cure yourself: “First cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” 1 In the opposite case you will only irritate your brother, and not do him any moral good. Be gentle and indulgent to others when you hear of their faults, remembering that you, too, have similar or greater faults. You reprove another, for instance, for drunkenness; but if you drink yourself, or even if you do not drink, but indulge yourself with dainties, are given to gluttony, surfeiting, then you sin as much as he does. Correct yourself of your gluttony, and then you will be able to speak strongly against drunkenness in others. You accuse another of negligence in his service, but perhaps you yourself are also negligent. “Physician, heal thyself.” 2
Saint John of Kronstadt on reprimanding subordinates
This makes excellent parenting advice, for only one application of such deeply insightful advice. I am seeking to apply it. At this writing the journey sounds long, but it will surely be worthwhile.